Gus Malzahn
Which Band Does Your SEC Coach Compare To?
By: JJ Lanier
TheSouthernSportsEdition.com news services
It’s been a disaster of a year for the SEC. Instead of piling on and writing about how most of the teams have underachieved, or how Joe Alleva screwed up the Orgeron hire, I want to do something a little more light hearted.
Hopefully bring some overdue joy to what has been an otherwise unwelcoming football season for SEC fans.
ESPN recently released a list of all the college coaches along with their favorite bands. Sure, it’s not hard hitting journalism by any stretch, but if you’ve read anything I’ve written over the past two years (and my affinity for anything pop culture) you had to know I was going to be piggybacking off that article.
So, here’s how it’s going to go. Obviously, I’m just going to focus on the SEC coaches, and instead of talking about what band they chose, I’ll assign a group/artist that I think they are most like. In order not to stray too far, I’ll attempt to stay within the same genre.
In alphabetical order, according to school:
Nick Saban. ESPN: Eagles. JJ: Led Zeppelin. Zeppelin is not only considered one of the greatest bands of all time, but their music was in your face and unapologetic, especially whenever they played live. Sound familiar?
Bret Bielema. ESPN: The Temptations. JJ: The Dramatics. Neither are bad, but both are easily forgotten compared to their peers.
Gus Malzahn. ESPN: The Cars. JJ: Maroon 5. I didn’t think either would still be relevant going into 2017.
Jim McElwain. ESPN: Earth, Wind, and Fire. JJ: Earth, Wind, and Fire. McElwain could master all three and Florida fans still wouldn’t care unless he mastered an SEC Championship too.
Kirby Smart. ESPN: The Rolling Stones. JJ: Slash’s Snakepit. Slash left one of the biggest bands in the world and formed the Snakepit. I don’t need to explain the similarities, right?
Mark Stoops. ESPN: Toby Keith. JJ: Sam Hunt. I don’t listen to Sam Hunt and I don’t watch Kentucky football.
Ed Orgeron. ESPN: Creedence Clearwater Revival. JJ: CCR. There’s nothing wrong with Creedence, but much like Orgeron, I have to believe that people in the bayou think much more highly of them than anywhere else in the country.
Dan Mullen. ESPN: U2. JJ: Dan Wilson. If you listened to music at all in the 90’s you had to have heard Semisonic’s “Closing Time”. Wilson was the lead singer of Semisonic. He’s had some minor hits as a solo artist, and has written songs for other groups (Dixie Chicks), but nothing has been as big as that late 90’s song. 2014 is Dan Mullen’s “Closing Time.”
Barry Odom. ESPN: Blake Shelton. JJ: Jason Aldean. Basically, they look like they could be brothers.
Hugh Freeze. ESPN: Chris Tomlin. JJ: Chris Tomlin. Considering the NCAA sanctions Ole Miss may face, Freeze needs to get as close with God as possible.
Will Muschamp. ESPN: George Strait. JJ: Taylor Swift. I’m juvenile and I think it’s funny.
Georgia Bulldogs own Auburn Tigers
By: Kipp Branch
TheSouthernSportsEdition.com news services
When Kirby Smart sits down with his CPA to do his 2016 taxes he and Mark Richt will share a lot in common, as Kirby will list Auburn as a dependent on his tax return.
The UGA ownership of Auburn continues as the Dawgs won for the 9th time in last 11 meetings with the Tigers with the 13-7 win at Sanford Stadium. Things were so rough for the Tigers that they could not even muster a first down in the second half. This is an offense that averages 300 rushing yards per game, but the UGA defense held them to under 200 yards of total offense for the entire game.
UGA has AU’s number in football right now. I was watching the game and I was amazed at how atrocious the Auburn play calling was in the second half of the contest.
Even the SEC officiating crew tried to give the game to Auburn with horrible calls to ensure an Iron Bowl in two weeks for the SEC West title and Auburn just did not want to take it.
How many times in the second half on 3rd and 2 did Auburn throw the football? When was the last time UGA won a football game without scoring an offensive touchdown?
Georgia salvaged its season with a win over Auburn. How many times have we repeated that statement over the past 16 years?
The oldest rivalry game in the South is one sided at the moment and Gus Malzahn is now 1-3 with three straight defeats at the hands of UGA. Auburn plays UGA like UGA plays Florida in Jacksonville and that is not aggressive and playing not to lose which is usually a recipe for long losing streaks in rivalry games.
It was UGA’s first win over a top ten team since 2014 which by the way was Auburn. By now you are getting the ownership theme right?
This was Kirby Smart’s signature win in what has been a rough year 1 at the helm in Athens. Now Smart must continue to recruit offensive lineman and play-makers in space.
Riley Ridley is turning into a game changer in Athens. UGA is a few pieces away from having a super offense to compliment the talents of Jacob Eason who is starting to look very sharp at QB.
The defense is starting to develop into a good unit. Rod Blankenship looks like Adam Vinatieri, and the Clark Kent glasses are the talk of the Classic City.
If this UGA team can finish 9-4 with a Bowl win and Kirby pulls in this monster class he is assembling then year two could be a treat to watch next fall. Kudos to the crowd for the electric atmosphere as well with a who’s who list of recruits in attendance.
Back to Auburn, how do the Tigers seem to lay an egg in this game annually now? So much of their success depends on recruiting athletes from Georgia as Alabama and Nick Saban own the entire State of Alabama. Is Gus on the hot seat again?
The only thing separating Auburn from 11 straight losses to UGA is being the highest bidder for Cam Newton and a tipped fluke pass in 2013.
Where is Pat Dye when you need him? Coach Dye would not be having this. As for Kirby, he gets a little extra back from the government next year having Auburn as an additional dependent.
The Smart family will be chanting “War Damn Eagle” next year on their family vacation.
Great feeling it is to own Auburn, and to hear the excuses associated with it.
